My friend, Jay in VA, blogged these questions. Now, I'm returning the favor....
1) Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any?
Well, this is tough. I was baptized Catholic (my mother was a Roman Catholic nun before she met my father). We left the Catholic church and went to a Pentecostal church (which always scared the be-jezzus out of me because people would get to jumping up in down in the name of God and the balcony would shake.... I always thought it would fall and create a bloody massacre). My family then joined the Mormon church. So, I was baptized again but this time as a Mormon. Then, my family members grew up and went different ways. I went to a small Southern Baptist church for a while, but married a Methodist. While we don't attend (I greatly dislike organized religion), I suppose I'm Methodist. However, my mother converted to Judaism, and according to the Jewish faith, the religion of the family is determined by the mother (you got your brown eyes from your father, but you got your faith from me). So, I suppose I'm a Catholi-Mormo-Methodi-Jew.
2) What is your opinion of Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays?
I don't have one. I'd rather people say whatever they choose to say with kindness. This argument has taken it to a whole new level. I don't care..... just be nice to each other.
3) Holiday music on the radio? When and how much?
When - never before I've had at least a whiff of my Thanksgiving turkey. I greatly dislike that we're now celebrating Hallo-giving-mas!! How much - as little as possible. Until some new Christmas songs are written, one person can only take so much of Burl Ives, Bing Crosby, and the tacky Christmas specials that come on television.
4) When do you start decorating? Do you?
When the kids were little, we'd decorate really big. The house, the yard, everything. Now that they're older (as in still at home but understands that Santa isn't real), we've scaled it down a bit. We put up a tree and put lights on the bushes in the yard, but it's not the huge deal that it was in prior years. And nothing gets taken out until at least December 1st.
5) White lights or multi-colored?
Both! That's my favorite part about Christmas - the lights!! Makes me feel like I'm in a disco or something.....
6) Gift cards, cash or actually shopped-for presents?
Depends on what the person asks for. My boys have specifically asked for gift cards this year. They want to pick out their own things after the holidays. So, that's what they're getting. My husband has asked for a pair of running shoes.... but he needs a special fit. So, gift certificate it is. He can go get them after the fact. My daughter, on the other hand, has asked for picture frames so she has something to hang her photographs in (she is becoming quite the photographer) and blue paint so she can paint her room. So I'm shopping for her. And if any of you see them, please don't tell them what they're getting!!
7) Christmas cards and/or family update letters are..... kinda weird. Not to sound all bah-humbugish and all, but if I haven't heard from you all year to the point that you've got to send me a letter to let me know what you've been doing all year, then let's call this one a wash. Save the stamp. If I get cards from people that I've been in touch with, then I'm cool with that and think it's very nice. But, I'll be the first to admit that I'm terrible about sending Christmas cards. I suck at it!!
8) Snow is..... white?? I usually don't say the S-word from December to March. Too scared it will tempt the S-gods to bring it on in droves. I really should move to Florida or someplace where it's not an option.
9) Have you been a good little boy or girl this year? Yes, I've been a good little girl (except for a few drunken moments).
10) Rapid fire favorites: Food - crab dip. Dessert - buckeyes. Drink - anything with alcohol. Holiday movie - A Christmas Story (you'll shoot your eye out). Holiday music - "I Heard the Bells." Holiday tradition - we don't wrap a single present until Christmas eve, so we'll watch the Christmas eve mass on television and "wrap" with the Pope. When the pope starts Homily, it's Latin for "wrap faster."
Bonus: Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe? Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Claus? have you done it in a Santa suit? did you come down the chimney? Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers?
Nope. I know, I'm boring.... But, before I got married, it was all about my family so that wouldn't just be odd, it would've been illegal. After I got married, we had children and it was all about them. We've spent many a Christmas night putting together toys until 4AM. But, we've also had some of the best laughs and the closest moments as a couple during the crazy holiday seasons. I'll take that any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
winner, winner, chicken dinner!!!
I'm a bowler.... I'm a crappy bowler, but a bowler, none the less. I bowl on a league with my dear friend, Kelly (http://www.ramblingalong.com/). Last night, my bowling sucked!!! I mean, I didn't knock down 100 pins in any of my three games..... but, I won the 50/50 raffle drawing!!!!!!! The league president announced that it was the highest raffle pot so far this season.
I'm glad no one got pictures or video of this for me to share on this blog. I do believe all the jumping and running to claim my prize may have knocked a few people over. I may have stomped on a few feet, plowed into a few people, and laid a few more out. But it was hysterical!!!! My husband came to watch me bowl (coincidence that my game was terrible....hmmmm??), and he kept trying to take the money. Nope! Not happening here. But, I won $100, and $75 of it was in $1 bills. I felt like a stripper - a happy stripper!!!
It's got to be fate that I won this money. Fate knew that I'd need a bunch of $1's for the Dinner & Divas show that I'm going to Saturday night. Divas..... I'm ready for you!!
I'm glad no one got pictures or video of this for me to share on this blog. I do believe all the jumping and running to claim my prize may have knocked a few people over. I may have stomped on a few feet, plowed into a few people, and laid a few more out. But it was hysterical!!!! My husband came to watch me bowl (coincidence that my game was terrible....hmmmm??), and he kept trying to take the money. Nope! Not happening here. But, I won $100, and $75 of it was in $1 bills. I felt like a stripper - a happy stripper!!!
It's got to be fate that I won this money. Fate knew that I'd need a bunch of $1's for the Dinner & Divas show that I'm going to Saturday night. Divas..... I'm ready for you!!
Friday, November 15, 2013
this is crazy!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVYG0rz7Ea8
I hope you can see this video.....
Jon Claude Van Damme did a stunt for Volvo. Two trucks...... in reverse..... and he's standing on the mirrors between them.
Then, the trucks separate..... and he does what he does best - the splits!!
Now, I know Jon Claude hasn't done anything since the 90's (I think the last thing I saw him in was a cameo in a Friends episode). But OMG!!!! He's older, a few harder lines in his face (but who hasn't got those after some years)...... and yet, his body is still BANGIN!!!!! Who can do this? It's like he's not human..... I'm not sure if I'm in awe and completely amazed or just freaked out that anyone can even do this.
Not overly news worthy, but I thought it was cool!
I hope you can see this video.....
Jon Claude Van Damme did a stunt for Volvo. Two trucks...... in reverse..... and he's standing on the mirrors between them.
Then, the trucks separate..... and he does what he does best - the splits!!
Now, I know Jon Claude hasn't done anything since the 90's (I think the last thing I saw him in was a cameo in a Friends episode). But OMG!!!! He's older, a few harder lines in his face (but who hasn't got those after some years)...... and yet, his body is still BANGIN!!!!! Who can do this? It's like he's not human..... I'm not sure if I'm in awe and completely amazed or just freaked out that anyone can even do this.
Not overly news worthy, but I thought it was cool!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Win by race....??
Now, I'm not even sure what to think about this. Part of me wants to scream that he should be removed - even if he did win - for misleading the constiuents in the district. The other part of me thinks this guy is brilliant. He knew he didn't have a chance in hell to win that seat being an older, white man. He employed campaign tactics that won him the election. I mean, come on..... we've gotten so used to politicians lying about everything else..... should we be shocked when a politician lies about his own race to win an election? I don't think so. I think if you asked any politician - off the record, of course - they'd admit that they would slap their mommas if they thought it would help win an election.
So, the bigger question here: are we still so divided that a candidate can win by forging his race? It would seem that way. And if we are, who's creating the divide? It's something to think about.....
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
favorite 80's sayings.....
I was having a conversation with a friend at work about the classic 80's movies.... it got me thinking about these movies & how much fun I had watching them with friends. To this day, there are some situations where I can hear the clips in my head as a response to my daily grind. So, as an homage to the cheesey movies of this era:
"Sometimes, you gotta say, what the fuck...." Risky Business
"What's happening, hot stuff?" - Sixteen Candles
"Does Barry Manilow know that you're wearing his shirt?" - The Breakfast Club
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles an hour, you're going to see some serious shit." - Back to the Future
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee's Big Adventure
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
"If they attack the car, save the radio." - Valley Girl
"Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man." - Say Anything
"Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes!" - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
"You said you couldn't believe in anyone who didn't believe in you. I believd in you. You just didn't believe in me." - Pretty in Pink
"Never trust a woman who says she isn't angry." - St. Elmo's Fire
"We are here to ruin ourseles and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die." - Moonstruck
"You dick." - Fast Times at Ridgemont High
"Your looks are kind of pretty when your face isn't screwing it up." - The Goonies
"As you wish" - The Princess Bride
"She worships the quicksand I walk on." - Steel Magnolias
"I see that you have the Schwartz, and that your Schwartz is as big as mine." - Spaceballs
"I love quick time harch." - History of the World Part I
"I think I stabbed my brain." - National Lampoon's Vacation
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner." - Dirty Dancing
"Sometimes, you gotta say, what the fuck...." Risky Business
"What's happening, hot stuff?" - Sixteen Candles
"Does Barry Manilow know that you're wearing his shirt?" - The Breakfast Club
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles an hour, you're going to see some serious shit." - Back to the Future
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee's Big Adventure
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller's Day Off
"If they attack the car, save the radio." - Valley Girl
"Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man." - Say Anything
"Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes!" - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
"You said you couldn't believe in anyone who didn't believe in you. I believd in you. You just didn't believe in me." - Pretty in Pink
"Never trust a woman who says she isn't angry." - St. Elmo's Fire
"We are here to ruin ourseles and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die." - Moonstruck
"You dick." - Fast Times at Ridgemont High
"Your looks are kind of pretty when your face isn't screwing it up." - The Goonies
"As you wish" - The Princess Bride
"She worships the quicksand I walk on." - Steel Magnolias
"I see that you have the Schwartz, and that your Schwartz is as big as mine." - Spaceballs
"I love quick time harch." - History of the World Part I
"I think I stabbed my brain." - National Lampoon's Vacation
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner." - Dirty Dancing
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
epic fail
Now here's a tale of an epic fail.....
I'm trying to implement healthier habits into my life. Eat healthier, stay away from sweets, have an annual physical, and get some exercise. So, when I woke up this morning at 5:30, I figured I'd go for a walk. I put on my work out clothes, grabbed my iPhone for some walking music, and headed out the door. All was right with the world until....
I decided I'd make a big loop this time, but doing so would require me to walk down Route 33 - for those in this area, Staples Mill Rd. Needless to say, I didn't think there'd be that much traffic at 6:00AM. There was. And they were flying by me. And the wind the cars kicked up was quite cold. BRRRRR!!!
By the time I got off Route 33 and onto Springfield Rd., I thought I'd be okay. Once again - epic fail. I was so cold at this point that when I went to move my arms, my muscles cramped. I couldn't feel them. My legs were burning because my body didn't want to move any more due to the temperature. I had to call my son to come rescue me. Not a great way to start the day.
All in all, though - I did accomplish a good walk. I got in 4.9 miles. But I had to take a 45 minute steaming hot shower to make sure my blood was circulating again. Maybe I should just go to the gym......
I'm trying to implement healthier habits into my life. Eat healthier, stay away from sweets, have an annual physical, and get some exercise. So, when I woke up this morning at 5:30, I figured I'd go for a walk. I put on my work out clothes, grabbed my iPhone for some walking music, and headed out the door. All was right with the world until....
I decided I'd make a big loop this time, but doing so would require me to walk down Route 33 - for those in this area, Staples Mill Rd. Needless to say, I didn't think there'd be that much traffic at 6:00AM. There was. And they were flying by me. And the wind the cars kicked up was quite cold. BRRRRR!!!
By the time I got off Route 33 and onto Springfield Rd., I thought I'd be okay. Once again - epic fail. I was so cold at this point that when I went to move my arms, my muscles cramped. I couldn't feel them. My legs were burning because my body didn't want to move any more due to the temperature. I had to call my son to come rescue me. Not a great way to start the day.
All in all, though - I did accomplish a good walk. I got in 4.9 miles. But I had to take a 45 minute steaming hot shower to make sure my blood was circulating again. Maybe I should just go to the gym......
grrrr......
Well, I was going to post pictures of my children.... very proud of them & thought I'd show them off for a bit. But, alas.... Blogger is being a finicky bitch. So, I'm taking that as a sign that I should wander off to bed and not worry about it for tonight.
Good night all! Maybe next time I'll be able to post a few pictures.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
tired..... but happy
I've come to this stage in life where I am always tired. I'm not sure if my body is telling me that my metabolism is seriously putting on the brakes, or if I'm still overdoing it, or my stress is through the roof..... Whatever the cause, I am ALWAYS tired. I actually fell asleep on the couch the other night at 9:30PM. Michael woke me up at 11:30 so I could stumble upstairs to bed. Got in the bed by 11:45 - and was zonked out again. I don't think I moved until my alarm went off at 6:30..... and even then, I couldn't get up. This isn't like me. I've always been a morning person. Able to get up, get moving, and then stay up until the break of dawn.... and then I'd do it all over again the next day. Now, not so much.
And yet, even in this weird tiredness, I find that I'm in a good place. I've finished grad school. I'm job hunting (which I haven't done in quite a while). I've got great friends that I'm lucky enough to see on a regular basis. It's odd.... but for me, when I hit 40, I really came into my own. I tried to make improvements to MY life (emphasis on my life simply because I did these things for ME). I really wanted to come out and let everyone know me as Mary.... not Michael's wife, or the twins' mother, or the drama mom (I was president of the drama boosters at my boys' high school), or the chorus mom, or the band mom, or anything else that I've been involved in that did not allow others to see me for me. It was as if a switch in my head got turned on.... and I started working on me. I began building my identity for who I am, and who I wanted to be outside of all of those other things. Oddly enough, this process created some issues with jealousy for Michael. But, for me, I'm happier now in my own skin than what I've been in quite a while. Which I guess was the goal of this process.
So, for others that may be reading this... I hope that everyone has the opportunity to find themselves. To figure out who you are and where you want your life to go.... So many people walk around aimlessly, never really knowing or understanding their potential. I'm fortunate that I've taken time to at least focus on my potential. I may not understand it, but I know that I have it. And that makes me happy..... tired, but happy.
And yet, even in this weird tiredness, I find that I'm in a good place. I've finished grad school. I'm job hunting (which I haven't done in quite a while). I've got great friends that I'm lucky enough to see on a regular basis. It's odd.... but for me, when I hit 40, I really came into my own. I tried to make improvements to MY life (emphasis on my life simply because I did these things for ME). I really wanted to come out and let everyone know me as Mary.... not Michael's wife, or the twins' mother, or the drama mom (I was president of the drama boosters at my boys' high school), or the chorus mom, or the band mom, or anything else that I've been involved in that did not allow others to see me for me. It was as if a switch in my head got turned on.... and I started working on me. I began building my identity for who I am, and who I wanted to be outside of all of those other things. Oddly enough, this process created some issues with jealousy for Michael. But, for me, I'm happier now in my own skin than what I've been in quite a while. Which I guess was the goal of this process.
So, for others that may be reading this... I hope that everyone has the opportunity to find themselves. To figure out who you are and where you want your life to go.... So many people walk around aimlessly, never really knowing or understanding their potential. I'm fortunate that I've taken time to at least focus on my potential. I may not understand it, but I know that I have it. And that makes me happy..... tired, but happy.
Monday, August 26, 2013
I've lost my filter.... can you help me find it?
Ever have those moments where your mouth goes faster than your brain? These seem to happen to me at the worst possible times. And they never happen around friends who know (and somehow seem to tolerate) my level of stupidity. No....... they happen at work. In front of my boss's boss. God, can it get any worse?
In moments such as this, I beat myself up with guilt. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I'm going to lose my job, for sure.... because who wants an unhinged, unfiltered maniac on the job? The counselor side of me tries to reconcile it. We all have moments that we wish wouldn't happen, but I'm placing too much emphasis on it. It's not THAT big of a deal, and it will resolve itself. Just breathe.
In moments like this, I wonder where my filter has gone. Does this happen to anyone else? Do you lose your filter during moments of stress? Oddly enough, when I'm in counselor mode, I sit quietly. I let my client talk. I ask questions that I know will keep my client talking. When I'm in analyst mode, I can't shut up. I want to right all the wrongs that are occurring in that space. Why? This is not my job. I don't have a large S on my chest under my clothes. So, why do I worry about things that are outside of my control? Who knows? And yet, I still need to find this out so I can find my filter.....
So, I'm at this personal crossroads. What do I do? I've apologized to my boss, and I've got a great boss so she made it a little easier for me. But now I'm feeling that I'm constantly walking on egg shells. It's uncomfortable. I'm hoping through this discomfort, I'll grow and learn and change into something new and improved.
Do you ever lose your filter? Are those moments as awkward for you as they are for me? I'm throwing this out there - into the cyberspace void - just to get it out of my head and into some other place. Thanks for letting me.
In moments such as this, I beat myself up with guilt. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? I'm going to lose my job, for sure.... because who wants an unhinged, unfiltered maniac on the job? The counselor side of me tries to reconcile it. We all have moments that we wish wouldn't happen, but I'm placing too much emphasis on it. It's not THAT big of a deal, and it will resolve itself. Just breathe.
In moments like this, I wonder where my filter has gone. Does this happen to anyone else? Do you lose your filter during moments of stress? Oddly enough, when I'm in counselor mode, I sit quietly. I let my client talk. I ask questions that I know will keep my client talking. When I'm in analyst mode, I can't shut up. I want to right all the wrongs that are occurring in that space. Why? This is not my job. I don't have a large S on my chest under my clothes. So, why do I worry about things that are outside of my control? Who knows? And yet, I still need to find this out so I can find my filter.....
So, I'm at this personal crossroads. What do I do? I've apologized to my boss, and I've got a great boss so she made it a little easier for me. But now I'm feeling that I'm constantly walking on egg shells. It's uncomfortable. I'm hoping through this discomfort, I'll grow and learn and change into something new and improved.
Do you ever lose your filter? Are those moments as awkward for you as they are for me? I'm throwing this out there - into the cyberspace void - just to get it out of my head and into some other place. Thanks for letting me.
Monday, August 5, 2013
i'm a lucky girl
I love great weekends..... not that this weekend was over the top epic or anything. But, it really was great because I got to be in the company of good friends the whole time. Friday night, I went to happy hour after work at Capital Ale House. If you have not attended a CAH happy hour, I must encourage you to do so. Good food? Check! Great drinks? Check! Happy hour specials? Check! Excellent seating outside to enjoy the fabulous weather? Check! No penalty when you drop your silverware into the fountain / pond behind you? CHECK!! Awesomeness all the way.
Saturday, I cleaned my house a bit - it was in dire need. Been so busy taking care of Michael that I really haven't been able to pay attention to the dust and whatnot that needed to be swept, vacummed, etc. It got tackled on Saturday. WHEW! So, if you want to visit, come by NOW before shit gets real again!!!
Saturday night, I attended a joint birthday party for my friends, Sarah and Stephanie. Michael came along, brace and all. And while I was worried about his comfort level and how much I knew he would pay for it later, being around people that we know and love was very therapeutic for him. I was happy that for the time being, he was happy!! A friend from Virginia Beach (Mark) decided to tag along. I love when you bring a friend that no one knows to a party. I was getting asked all night - who's the guy? I'd have to tell Mark's story - how we know each other, why I invited him to come with us to the party, and how great of a guy he is - don't believe me? Ask him to share his Jaegermeister. And he did.
Sunday, I went to brunch with Jeff, Kelly, and my best friend from high school, Kimie. Kimie and I have been best friends since the 9th grade. Considering that I graduated 24 years ago, with 4 years of high school, that's 28 years of friendship. WOW! Ahhhhhh-mazing! She's my heart - if I were lesbian, I'd only want Kimie. It's that kind of a relationship - we know everything about each other, each other's families, each other's kids. She's very cool!!!
This got me to thinking.... so I started trolling my own pictures on Facebook. I see some friends on a fairly regular basis. I found it hard to believe that it'll be three years in October that I met Jeff, Kelly, Christopher, Derek, Joe and Stacey. These are people that I've come to love dearly, that there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, and I've come to lean on when I need support. It's been almost five years since I met Stephanie (I got blow job in my hair....whole other blog post), and seven years since I met Sarah and Mike. I've known Kathy and Ken for eight years, and by putting our husbands together, we get to spend a lot of quality girl time (we're GENIUSES!!!!!!). All this to say - I'm so very fortunate. No matter how bitchy I may feel, no matter what circumstances I'm going through, I am really very lucky to have amazing people in my life. I love you all!!!! XOXOXO
Now.... here's a few happy hour pictures from Friday!!
Saturday, I cleaned my house a bit - it was in dire need. Been so busy taking care of Michael that I really haven't been able to pay attention to the dust and whatnot that needed to be swept, vacummed, etc. It got tackled on Saturday. WHEW! So, if you want to visit, come by NOW before shit gets real again!!!
Saturday night, I attended a joint birthday party for my friends, Sarah and Stephanie. Michael came along, brace and all. And while I was worried about his comfort level and how much I knew he would pay for it later, being around people that we know and love was very therapeutic for him. I was happy that for the time being, he was happy!! A friend from Virginia Beach (Mark) decided to tag along. I love when you bring a friend that no one knows to a party. I was getting asked all night - who's the guy? I'd have to tell Mark's story - how we know each other, why I invited him to come with us to the party, and how great of a guy he is - don't believe me? Ask him to share his Jaegermeister. And he did.
Sunday, I went to brunch with Jeff, Kelly, and my best friend from high school, Kimie. Kimie and I have been best friends since the 9th grade. Considering that I graduated 24 years ago, with 4 years of high school, that's 28 years of friendship. WOW! Ahhhhhh-mazing! She's my heart - if I were lesbian, I'd only want Kimie. It's that kind of a relationship - we know everything about each other, each other's families, each other's kids. She's very cool!!!
This got me to thinking.... so I started trolling my own pictures on Facebook. I see some friends on a fairly regular basis. I found it hard to believe that it'll be three years in October that I met Jeff, Kelly, Christopher, Derek, Joe and Stacey. These are people that I've come to love dearly, that there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, and I've come to lean on when I need support. It's been almost five years since I met Stephanie (I got blow job in my hair....whole other blog post), and seven years since I met Sarah and Mike. I've known Kathy and Ken for eight years, and by putting our husbands together, we get to spend a lot of quality girl time (we're GENIUSES!!!!!!). All this to say - I'm so very fortunate. No matter how bitchy I may feel, no matter what circumstances I'm going through, I am really very lucky to have amazing people in my life. I love you all!!!! XOXOXO
Now.... here's a few happy hour pictures from Friday!!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
haters gonna hate.....
I'm convinced that there are times in everyones lives when a person says something that they didn't MEAN to say..... but they were WANTING to say the entire time. In my area of expertise, we call this a Freudian Slip, but any psychologist who knows their salt will tell you - there is no such thing as a Freudian Slip. It was in your head, you said it, DONE!! It's only when the words are hurtful does the person claim, oh.... that slipped.... I'm sorry.
Here's my thought for the day: why does anyone have to have a hateful thought in the first place? Now, I'm not talking about commenting with friends - for example:
Girl #1: Honey, did you see that wreck of an outfit she had on today?
Girl #2: No, I didn't. Is it a hot mess?
Girl #1: Look likes someone sprayed her down with Pepto Bismol. Don't think I've seen that much pink - ever.
Girl #2: Seriously?
Girl #1: And it was all different shades of pink. I couldn't tell if she was trying to be demure or if she was just trapped in the 80's. Good God!
Is this conversation hateful? Yes. But, we've all been there. We've all done it. Whatever. It happens. In some cases, it's to make ourselves feel better. In some cases, it's because we cannot wrap our brains around the hot mess that is in front of us. Better to work it out using words than relive the nightmare all day.
I'm talking the passive / aggressive hatefulness - the comments that leave you trying to figure out where that came from. Is she mad at me? Did I do something to offend her? Or was it a bad burrito she had last night for dinner? It's those shady, underhanded comments that I cannot stand. And, as mentioned in the first paragraph, these comments are not accidental. These comments are intended to be hurtful, hateful, and create anxiety for the recipient. And I know that y'all know what I'm talking about..... we've all experienced it, but I can't say that we've all delivered it.
So, to those spreaders of passive / aggressive hatefulness that have approached my doorstep, let me say this.....KICK ROCKS!! I don't need your shit. I don't need your subtle attempts to diminish me, so STOP IT!!! I'm more than capable of creating my own anxiety. I'm more than able to stir up my own shit storm, so I certainly don't need your help in complicating my life. There! I know haters gonna hate.... but they need to hate somewhere far away from me!!!
Here's my thought for the day: why does anyone have to have a hateful thought in the first place? Now, I'm not talking about commenting with friends - for example:
Girl #1: Honey, did you see that wreck of an outfit she had on today?
Girl #2: No, I didn't. Is it a hot mess?
Girl #1: Look likes someone sprayed her down with Pepto Bismol. Don't think I've seen that much pink - ever.
Girl #2: Seriously?
Girl #1: And it was all different shades of pink. I couldn't tell if she was trying to be demure or if she was just trapped in the 80's. Good God!
Is this conversation hateful? Yes. But, we've all been there. We've all done it. Whatever. It happens. In some cases, it's to make ourselves feel better. In some cases, it's because we cannot wrap our brains around the hot mess that is in front of us. Better to work it out using words than relive the nightmare all day.
I'm talking the passive / aggressive hatefulness - the comments that leave you trying to figure out where that came from. Is she mad at me? Did I do something to offend her? Or was it a bad burrito she had last night for dinner? It's those shady, underhanded comments that I cannot stand. And, as mentioned in the first paragraph, these comments are not accidental. These comments are intended to be hurtful, hateful, and create anxiety for the recipient. And I know that y'all know what I'm talking about..... we've all experienced it, but I can't say that we've all delivered it.
So, to those spreaders of passive / aggressive hatefulness that have approached my doorstep, let me say this.....KICK ROCKS!! I don't need your shit. I don't need your subtle attempts to diminish me, so STOP IT!!! I'm more than capable of creating my own anxiety. I'm more than able to stir up my own shit storm, so I certainly don't need your help in complicating my life. There! I know haters gonna hate.... but they need to hate somewhere far away from me!!!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Marky Mark - part deux?
Jimmy Fallon played this video tonight & I almost wet my pants.....
Hope you can view it. Mind = blown. That. Is. All.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
I'm baaaaaaacccccckkkkkk!!!
Good lord! I feel like I've been stuck in a time warp of craziness. So, I graduated. But I had credits that I had to finish up over the summer. Those classes kicked my butt!!! I don't think I've worked that hard EVER!!!!
Within one week after finishing my course work, Michael had to have his back surgery. I've spent the month of July taking care of him. Let me tell you, there's something exhausting about sitting in a hospital room for a week or caring for someone by changing incision dressings, helping get up, helping sit down, helping get dressed, helping keep a medication schedule. It's been enough to keep my local ABC store in the black. They have certainly met sales quotas this month thanks to yours truly.
But, in having conversation with my friends, Kelly (Rambling Along In Life) and Jay (JayinVA), I needed to get back to my blog. I wanted this blog to be a place of positive energy. But, to be honest, I don't have any positive energy (or ANY energy for that matter) left. So, from here on out, this blog will just be a record of where I am each day.....good, bad or indifferent. If you're cool with that, great! Keep coming back - I'll be here. If you're not cool with it, we'll, then....just kick rocks! Cause this is my blog space and I'll say what I want without apology.
Now that I've thwarted off the haters..... I'm baaaaaaccccckkk!!!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
i hate it when.....
Okay, I know that I promised to make this blog a place where I would look on the bright side. Cynicism and bad attitudes - BE GONE! But tonight..... well, tonight, I just can't do it! I cannot muster the strength to be positive. A foul woman completely pissed in my Cheerios tonight. She and her pompous child were obnoxious and.... well, FOUL! So, in the spirit of trying to erase the negativity from my life, I did what any other self-respecting individual would do. I spewed my negativity all over her!!!!
She showed up over an hour late for a high school drama performance because she was only interested in seeing her child. Okay, I can forgive this because usually, I just want to see my kids do their best on stage as well. But, she made every effort to make her child look better by insulting the other students. Wait,.... HUH? The ADULT tried to make her child appear to be a better performer than anyone else in the group by INSULTING THE OTHER CHILDREN!!! I was floored! Now, this went WAY beyond any form of defense for my own children..... this was simply a lack of human decency that had to be addressed. So, since I'm a volunteer - not associated or paid to be a part of the program in anyway - I went in with guns blazing (queue the tumbleweed... roll the whistling soundtrack..... mark the spur-jingles.....). I have never in my life felt the need to rip a new asshole on a person as I did this insane woman tonight. Needless to say, I'm home writing up my blog.... she left way before I did and was in a bit of a snit. Thanks to yours truly!!!
With all this - I can say: 1) I felt better - every bit of venom that I had stored up from my day got smeared all over this woman and her testy shit of a son. 2) Shame on her! Shame on her for not realizing that this rinky-dink high school drama program may be the only exposure that the majority of these students will ever receive simply because they do not have the monetary resources to BUY their way into performing troops the way she has managed for her daughter. 3) It is sad that I even had to have this argument. It is sad that these kids cannot be appreciated simply for the time and effort that they put into improving their craft. It is sad that their hard work and dedication to something bigger than themselves cannot be appreciated for what it is. It doesn't have to fit into every one's definition of beauty or art..... as long as what they did fits into THEIR personal definition of beauty or art. The rest should be inconsequential. The rest should be something for others to appreciate and respect. It is sad that another adult does not recognize this.
There my rant is finished.... pass a cocktail. In fact, pass several. I plan on passing out tonight....
She showed up over an hour late for a high school drama performance because she was only interested in seeing her child. Okay, I can forgive this because usually, I just want to see my kids do their best on stage as well. But, she made every effort to make her child look better by insulting the other students. Wait,.... HUH? The ADULT tried to make her child appear to be a better performer than anyone else in the group by INSULTING THE OTHER CHILDREN!!! I was floored! Now, this went WAY beyond any form of defense for my own children..... this was simply a lack of human decency that had to be addressed. So, since I'm a volunteer - not associated or paid to be a part of the program in anyway - I went in with guns blazing (queue the tumbleweed... roll the whistling soundtrack..... mark the spur-jingles.....). I have never in my life felt the need to rip a new asshole on a person as I did this insane woman tonight. Needless to say, I'm home writing up my blog.... she left way before I did and was in a bit of a snit. Thanks to yours truly!!!
With all this - I can say: 1) I felt better - every bit of venom that I had stored up from my day got smeared all over this woman and her testy shit of a son. 2) Shame on her! Shame on her for not realizing that this rinky-dink high school drama program may be the only exposure that the majority of these students will ever receive simply because they do not have the monetary resources to BUY their way into performing troops the way she has managed for her daughter. 3) It is sad that I even had to have this argument. It is sad that these kids cannot be appreciated simply for the time and effort that they put into improving their craft. It is sad that their hard work and dedication to something bigger than themselves cannot be appreciated for what it is. It doesn't have to fit into every one's definition of beauty or art..... as long as what they did fits into THEIR personal definition of beauty or art. The rest should be inconsequential. The rest should be something for others to appreciate and respect. It is sad that another adult does not recognize this.
There my rant is finished.... pass a cocktail. In fact, pass several. I plan on passing out tonight....
Monday, May 20, 2013
officially.....and for the record
Yes..... I admit it. I am a slacker. I haven't added to my blog in a few days. And I could come up with a ton of excuses.....
No one reads it anyway....
Who sees it other than me?
Are there other things that I could be doing?
The answer? It doesn't matter if no one else sees it. And sure, there are other things I could be doing but I'm doing this now! And if no one else reads it, well.... I guess that's alright. This has become more of a project FOR me than about me. With that being said, here's some fun to help you waste some time. I'll try not to waste any more of mine!
Well, you can't have the History of Rap - Part 1 without adding parts 2, 3, & 4.... enjoy!!
No one reads it anyway....
Who sees it other than me?
Are there other things that I could be doing?
The answer? It doesn't matter if no one else sees it. And sure, there are other things I could be doing but I'm doing this now! And if no one else reads it, well.... I guess that's alright. This has become more of a project FOR me than about me. With that being said, here's some fun to help you waste some time. I'll try not to waste any more of mine!
Well, you can't have the History of Rap - Part 1 without adding parts 2, 3, & 4.... enjoy!!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Need more beauty in the world....
I love all things beautiful. I mean, what is there to hate when your view makes you feel good and brings you joy? For some, a scenic view can stir the soul. 
For others, an image of unconditional love heals all ills.
Now for me, well, I'm a simple girl. I don't need much. Just a bit of this....
And a little of that....
Remembering that all things beautiful should be admired....
And appreciated for their exquisiteness...
Ahhhh, yes. A thing of beauty is a joy forever!!
Monday, May 13, 2013
I'm the worst blogger in the world.... I missed a day (or two - but who's counting?) because life got in the way. Here's how:
My daughter turned 13 on Saturday. I had to run around like a banshee to get the house ready, pick up the cake, order the pizza - which was HUGE!!! (52 slices, 35 inches across or better) After the party, Michael and I went out with Kathy and Ken - our couple counterparts. We decided to go to Conch Republic to get dinner.... but I didn't get dinner, I got drinks! Here's my picture:
We ordered two servings of Gator bites for the table - I LOVE THESE THINGS!! They come with buffalo, barbecue, ranch and bleu cheese dipping sauces. They're lucky I didn't suck the ink out of the paper when we were done. Along side, my favorite well drink - vodka & cranberry.... YUM!! After two of those, I switched up to a Cherry Chiller - Cherry Jack rum, pineapple juice and other delicious libations!
We left Conch Republic and headed to the Pour House. Then, the night turned to shots. Pineapple Upside Down shooters, Buttery Nipples, B-52's, and an Apple Pie shot. The most entertaining part of the night was watching everyone play the Beer Pong game. Yes, folks, that's right.... pay $1.00 to play beer pong. You shoot ping pong balls into red Solo cups that are lit up. If you get the ping pong ball in the cup, the light goes off. The goal is to get all the lights off before the timer runs out. Here's a glimpse of this madness:
Now, isn't this the craziest thing ever? Why pay a $1.00 when you can set up a table and play (almost) for free at home? Either way, watching people get frustrated with this game was highly entertaining!! That, and the fact that each time someone decided to swing back to chuck the ping pong ball at the cups, Ken would get goosed! Maybe that's the part I liked better.... LOL!!
My daughter turned 13 on Saturday. I had to run around like a banshee to get the house ready, pick up the cake, order the pizza - which was HUGE!!! (52 slices, 35 inches across or better) After the party, Michael and I went out with Kathy and Ken - our couple counterparts. We decided to go to Conch Republic to get dinner.... but I didn't get dinner, I got drinks! Here's my picture:
We ordered two servings of Gator bites for the table - I LOVE THESE THINGS!! They come with buffalo, barbecue, ranch and bleu cheese dipping sauces. They're lucky I didn't suck the ink out of the paper when we were done. Along side, my favorite well drink - vodka & cranberry.... YUM!! After two of those, I switched up to a Cherry Chiller - Cherry Jack rum, pineapple juice and other delicious libations!
We left Conch Republic and headed to the Pour House. Then, the night turned to shots. Pineapple Upside Down shooters, Buttery Nipples, B-52's, and an Apple Pie shot. The most entertaining part of the night was watching everyone play the Beer Pong game. Yes, folks, that's right.... pay $1.00 to play beer pong. You shoot ping pong balls into red Solo cups that are lit up. If you get the ping pong ball in the cup, the light goes off. The goal is to get all the lights off before the timer runs out. Here's a glimpse of this madness:
Now, isn't this the craziest thing ever? Why pay a $1.00 when you can set up a table and play (almost) for free at home? Either way, watching people get frustrated with this game was highly entertaining!! That, and the fact that each time someone decided to swing back to chuck the ping pong ball at the cups, Ken would get goosed! Maybe that's the part I liked better.... LOL!!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Here comes the sun....
I went with my daughter, Maura, and her band class as a chaperone to a band festival competition and to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg after. I now have sun kissed pink feet but that is okay by me. It was so great to be in the fresh air and sunshine. I was starting to think Richmond was going to float away. My happy notes? I'm happy I got to spend the day with Maura. I'm happy that her band did so well (1st place in Jazz Band, 2nd place in concert band - both with superior ratings). I'm happy to have that wonderful tired, sore feeling you get from spending all day in the sun. Here's a few pics of my girl in action.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
news about Michael....
Here's a brief history: In 2009, my husband, Michael, ruptured a disc in his back. He had a laminectomy (where they surgically push the ruptured stuff back into the disc, scrape out the excess) but this didn't work. The disc re-ruptured in 2010. He had a second surgery in 2010 to fuse the L5/S1 discs in his lower back. Even with the surgical repair, Michael continually had pain due to permanent nerve damage from the ruptured disc that compressed nerves. He had a third surgery to insert a spinal cord stimulator. He's got a lead inserted in his spine and a battery in his hip that keeps the lead charged. This lead sends electric impulses down his spine and those impulses are supposed to block the signals from the damaged nerves from reaching his brain. Meaning, the nerves can't be repaired but if the brain doesn't receive the pain signals from those damaged nerves, he should have less pain.
A side note: Michael is in law enforcement. He's been a cop for going on 14 years. In March, he got into an altercation with a jail inmate and instantly started experiencing severe pain. He's been on light duty for a month and switched to the night shift since that was the only light duty spot available.
Michael went to the doctor on Monday - and it wasn't a great visit. He's going to need more surgery due to a "failed fusion." The L5/S1 disc is bulging as a result of the altercation. The doctor confirmed that if the fusion was either done correctly or healed correctly, the disc would not have been able to bulge - or move - because it would have been anchored by another disc. The surgery is going to be pretty harsh. It will mean an incision in his back to remove the rods and screws from the first fusion. Then, he'll get flipped over and an incision will be made in his abdomen. Then, from the front, the fused disc will be removed and bone grafts will be inserted to create a new fusion. He'll be flipped back over so new rods, pins, and screws can be inserted to hold the new fusion in place. He's looking at a 3-6 month recovery period. He probably will not be able to return to law enforcement - the risk of injury is just too great.
For those reading this that know Michael, you know that he's a good guy. He is quiet and somewhat introverted when he first meets you, but once he gets to know you, you're family. And there's nothing that Michael will not do for his family. He will give you the shirt off his back if he thought that you needed it. He's been my biggest cheerleader since I made the decision to go back to school. He is a great husband and father. So, in trying to find things to be happy about.... I'm happy that Michael has answers about his pain. I'm happy that a resolution is in sight. I'm happy that he has some hope for a pain-free life, which is something that he hasn't had in quite a while. I'm happy that this too shall pass.... I know it's my profile picture, but here's Michael and me during our 15th wedding anniversary trip.
A side note: Michael is in law enforcement. He's been a cop for going on 14 years. In March, he got into an altercation with a jail inmate and instantly started experiencing severe pain. He's been on light duty for a month and switched to the night shift since that was the only light duty spot available.
Michael went to the doctor on Monday - and it wasn't a great visit. He's going to need more surgery due to a "failed fusion." The L5/S1 disc is bulging as a result of the altercation. The doctor confirmed that if the fusion was either done correctly or healed correctly, the disc would not have been able to bulge - or move - because it would have been anchored by another disc. The surgery is going to be pretty harsh. It will mean an incision in his back to remove the rods and screws from the first fusion. Then, he'll get flipped over and an incision will be made in his abdomen. Then, from the front, the fused disc will be removed and bone grafts will be inserted to create a new fusion. He'll be flipped back over so new rods, pins, and screws can be inserted to hold the new fusion in place. He's looking at a 3-6 month recovery period. He probably will not be able to return to law enforcement - the risk of injury is just too great.
For those reading this that know Michael, you know that he's a good guy. He is quiet and somewhat introverted when he first meets you, but once he gets to know you, you're family. And there's nothing that Michael will not do for his family. He will give you the shirt off his back if he thought that you needed it. He's been my biggest cheerleader since I made the decision to go back to school. He is a great husband and father. So, in trying to find things to be happy about.... I'm happy that Michael has answers about his pain. I'm happy that a resolution is in sight. I'm happy that he has some hope for a pain-free life, which is something that he hasn't had in quite a while. I'm happy that this too shall pass.... I know it's my profile picture, but here's Michael and me during our 15th wedding anniversary trip.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
wacky weather
Daily Quip #7
Coming in a bit under the wire.... My weekend was so hectic - I'm still trying to recover.
Mother nature decided to be bitchy today. Right as I was leaving work (6ish), a bad storm moved in. I work in Goochland County, so I saw some dark clouds, got a bit wet... no biggie - I was heading home anyway. But, Michael called me - "be careful, we've been getting hail & it's crazy." Hail?? HAIL?? Really.... Here's the proof!
This is my deck.... covered in hail! We also had a minor flood on the other side of the deck from the water rushing in over the driveway. I noticed as I was driving home that the temps dropped significantly. So glad I didn't get soaked to the bone - we could have experienced a wet t-shirt contest inadvertently!!
Grateful that I made it home - safe & sound! I made dinner (chicken parm), did some reading, and sat with the hubby. All & all, a lazy night.... tomorrow night - gym!!!
Night all!!
Coming in a bit under the wire.... My weekend was so hectic - I'm still trying to recover.
Mother nature decided to be bitchy today. Right as I was leaving work (6ish), a bad storm moved in. I work in Goochland County, so I saw some dark clouds, got a bit wet... no biggie - I was heading home anyway. But, Michael called me - "be careful, we've been getting hail & it's crazy." Hail?? HAIL?? Really.... Here's the proof!
This is my deck.... covered in hail! We also had a minor flood on the other side of the deck from the water rushing in over the driveway. I noticed as I was driving home that the temps dropped significantly. So glad I didn't get soaked to the bone - we could have experienced a wet t-shirt contest inadvertently!!
Grateful that I made it home - safe & sound! I made dinner (chicken parm), did some reading, and sat with the hubby. All & all, a lazy night.... tomorrow night - gym!!!
Night all!!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
grad, birthday, parties & more....
Daily quip #6
It's May 5th.... or as I used to call it when I was little - Fay da Mifth! It's my birthday!!! I've always loved having my birthday on a date that is considered a holiday in Mexico. I've travelled from one Mexican restaurant to the next showing my ID and getting free margaritas for having a birthday on Cinco de Mayo!!!!
This year, my birthday came in 2nd place to all the things I had to do with my school. And still, another event was also very important. My best friend from high school, Kimie, is saying goodbye to her 18-year old son, Christopher, on Tuesday. He has joined the Navy and was accepted into their nuclear program. Apparently, you've got to have very high scores on aptitude tests to get connected with this program - and Christopher made the cut.
She held a going away party for him on Saturday and gave him a very special present. On December 6th, a flag was flown over the U.S. Capitol building in Christopher's honor. He received the flag after it was taken down, raised and flown on base by the Navy Seals, and put into a shadow box to be given to him as a gift. It was really quite cool, and Chris was obviously touched. So, for my pics of the day, here's Christopher & Kimie with his amazing gift!
It's May 5th.... or as I used to call it when I was little - Fay da Mifth! It's my birthday!!! I've always loved having my birthday on a date that is considered a holiday in Mexico. I've travelled from one Mexican restaurant to the next showing my ID and getting free margaritas for having a birthday on Cinco de Mayo!!!!
This year, my birthday came in 2nd place to all the things I had to do with my school. And still, another event was also very important. My best friend from high school, Kimie, is saying goodbye to her 18-year old son, Christopher, on Tuesday. He has joined the Navy and was accepted into their nuclear program. Apparently, you've got to have very high scores on aptitude tests to get connected with this program - and Christopher made the cut.
She held a going away party for him on Saturday and gave him a very special present. On December 6th, a flag was flown over the U.S. Capitol building in Christopher's honor. He received the flag after it was taken down, raised and flown on base by the Navy Seals, and put into a shadow box to be given to him as a gift. It was really quite cool, and Chris was obviously touched. So, for my pics of the day, here's Christopher & Kimie with his amazing gift!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
After the fact...,
Daily quip #5
So, I froze during today's events. Rain, wind and cool temps made it miserable. But it was worth it! Got conferred with my masters degree today with my husband & children in the audience. It was one of the best (and worst) experiences of my life. By the end, I was so happy that the culmination of 3 years came to an end today. At the same time, I was so cold, I couldn't feel my feet!!
Here's some photos of my day!!
So, I froze during today's events. Rain, wind and cool temps made it miserable. But it was worth it! Got conferred with my masters degree today with my husband & children in the audience. It was one of the best (and worst) experiences of my life. By the end, I was so happy that the culmination of 3 years came to an end today. At the same time, I was so cold, I couldn't feel my feet!!
Here's some photos of my day!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Happiness is....
Daily quip #4
Well, in trying to get ready for my trip to the beach, I wanted to give myself a manicure and pedicure. I've been at it since 10:00PM..... it's now 1:23AM. Good grief!!! But, I'm happy that I've got the time to do it! I'm happy to spend the weekend in VA Beach with my family. I'm happy to be graduating!!! So, in spite of my nail polish demolition, I am still finding reasons to be happy.... so (proud mama alert) here's my main three!!
These are my sons - Jonathan (on the right) & Jeremy (on the left).
This is my baby girl, Maura. She's so amazing..... she's got such a great story for being (almost) 13 years old. But that's for another post.
How do you finish the sentence - happiness is......??
Well, in trying to get ready for my trip to the beach, I wanted to give myself a manicure and pedicure. I've been at it since 10:00PM..... it's now 1:23AM. Good grief!!! But, I'm happy that I've got the time to do it! I'm happy to spend the weekend in VA Beach with my family. I'm happy to be graduating!!! So, in spite of my nail polish demolition, I am still finding reasons to be happy.... so (proud mama alert) here's my main three!!
These are my sons - Jonathan (on the right) & Jeremy (on the left).
This is my baby girl, Maura. She's so amazing..... she's got such a great story for being (almost) 13 years old. But that's for another post.
How do you finish the sentence - happiness is......??
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Rock of Ages
Being that my boys are theater freaks, I try to stay on top of all the shows that are coming to the Richmond area. I received an email tonight that Rock of Ages is coming to the Carpenter Center. Is it wrong that I am absolutely dying to see this show? I've seen the movie about a gazillion times.... and truly, I don't think I've seen Tom Cruise look better. After a string of really crappy movies, Tommy Boy knocks this one out of the park.
I've officially become a Rock of Ages groupie!!! Every time it's on, I have to stop & watch - like a train wreck, but with great 80's tunes!!
Maybe is the soundtrack - this was my era. I am a child of the 80's.
Maybe it's the tattoos - Tom Cruise is covered in them.... and that's not a bad thing.
Maybe it's just the cheese factor - every now and then, ya just got to say WTF?!?!? and go with it!!!
Whatever the case may be, I am completely stoked that I have my tickets for the June 9th showing at the Carpenter Center!! And the seats are great!!!! Orchestra Right - row C - seats 10 & 12. I'll be about 8 rows from the stage. Thank you, richmondcenterstage.com!!!! You've made this 80's chick very, very happy!!! Wonder if I'll need to revive my neon t-shirt, pencil skirt, and lace midriff cover??? What's your guilty pleasure??
I've officially become a Rock of Ages groupie!!! Every time it's on, I have to stop & watch - like a train wreck, but with great 80's tunes!!
Maybe is the soundtrack - this was my era. I am a child of the 80's.
Maybe it's the tattoos - Tom Cruise is covered in them.... and that's not a bad thing.
Maybe it's just the cheese factor - every now and then, ya just got to say WTF?!?!? and go with it!!!
Whatever the case may be, I am completely stoked that I have my tickets for the June 9th showing at the Carpenter Center!! And the seats are great!!!! Orchestra Right - row C - seats 10 & 12. I'll be about 8 rows from the stage. Thank you, richmondcenterstage.com!!!! You've made this 80's chick very, very happy!!! Wonder if I'll need to revive my neon t-shirt, pencil skirt, and lace midriff cover??? What's your guilty pleasure??
No pain, no gain??? Who made up this shit?
Daily Quip #2
First, let me thank everyone that stopped by to take a look around. My goal is a blog post per day, and some days, I may not have an opportunity to sit down at my laptop until fairly late. As I am learning my way around "blogtopia," please be patient. There may be changes to my blog space as I find new and interesting things to include.
For the quip: My goal in this process is to try to find something humorous every day. Today, my humor came at the gym. I recently completed 9 months of interning for my Master's degree. So, being that I work full time, have three kids, a husband, a home, and two dogs.... that interning stuff kinda cramped up my schedule. I have not had time to go to the gym, work out, or anything remotely close to taking care of myself. I made myself a promise that when my internship was done, I'd get back to the gym on a regular basis. Last week was my first time back. My friend convinced me that I should take a body sculpting class. Now, I know enough about work-outs that calling it body sculpting is a way to lure people in. It embodies connections to Rembrandt, Picasso, and DaVinci. "This class will turn your body into a masterpiece" is what most people will hear in their head. What they don't realize is that shit is a marketing ploy. Body sculpting is the gym's way of letting all the instructors know that they have free reign for 60 minutes to contort others' bodies to do things that make the average person look like they're fucking a chicken. Well, being secure in who I am, I welcomed the chicken-fucking poses, and asked Col. Sanders for more. I went to my second body sculpting class tonight.
The class started out great. The instructor had a lot of energy but kept the exercises at a fairly low bounce. This is important for gals like me - anything over a C-cup, and that bouncing crapola hurts to no end. I'm grateful when there's no bounce. Halfway through the class, the instructor asked everyone to lay on their step benches because she was going to have the class work on core strength (i.e., trying to tone that flabby gut). About three crunches in, I felt a very sharp pain in my lower abdominal area. Holy Christ - what in the name of Jon Bon Jovi is that???? I tried to sit up and every muscle in my body basically screamed a resounding EFF OFF!! I could not move. Now, try to get a visual of this..... there are two girls next to me wearing their high school CHEER shirts. They probably weigh 85 pounds soaking wet..... combined. There's two guys in the corner one mat down from me. They are trying to keep their legs in the air like the instructor is doing without pinning their balls between their own ass cheeks and the step benches. There's a lady who I found out after class was 76 years old. She must be related to that guy who doesn't get old from the Lord of the Rings books. She was lifting weights and throwing out every exercise bit that the instructor gave us. And then there's me.... my middle-aged, extremely pale (dear God, I didn't notice it until my feet were in the air and the soft glow of florescent lights bounced off my legs - people left the class without sight), and somewhat chubby self stuck to my step bench as if God himself had stapled me there. When I was finally able to roll off my bench (think weeble-wobble), I was on my knees, head facing the gym floor, seeing stars. The instructor told me that it's either a muscle cramp or a muscle pull. I should ice it (fuck, are you kidding??? put an ice pack on my flabby stomach?? I wonder if she realizes that fat DOES NOT congeal??) and discontinue any abdominal isolation exercises for the next 24-48 hours so it can heal.
At this point, I got very tickled. The thought came to mind - hell, I acquired this ring o' shame around my middle from carrying rather large twins. Granted, it was 18 years ago, but that's beside the point. I found it funny that the instructor stressed to me not to strain myself, so it was very important for me to wait the 24-48 hours resting period. All I could think was - I've carried this shit for 18+ years.... another two days will not kill me!! I know - for a fact - that I did not look eager to get right back into my work out. I left feeling like my arms were made of Jell-o, and I was trying to figure out how I would be able to drive home with my feet since I couldn't raise my arms. No, please let me work out some more.....if I don't get one more workout in, I'll never be thin and beautiful (insert raised middle finger here).
So, I experienced the pain side of exercise tonight. I gained a good laugh.... but I don't think that's what they meant by "no pain, no gain." And to that, I'll leave you with my mantra for life: I came in this world, little and naked. I'm going out big and clothed!!!
First, let me thank everyone that stopped by to take a look around. My goal is a blog post per day, and some days, I may not have an opportunity to sit down at my laptop until fairly late. As I am learning my way around "blogtopia," please be patient. There may be changes to my blog space as I find new and interesting things to include.
For the quip: My goal in this process is to try to find something humorous every day. Today, my humor came at the gym. I recently completed 9 months of interning for my Master's degree. So, being that I work full time, have three kids, a husband, a home, and two dogs.... that interning stuff kinda cramped up my schedule. I have not had time to go to the gym, work out, or anything remotely close to taking care of myself. I made myself a promise that when my internship was done, I'd get back to the gym on a regular basis. Last week was my first time back. My friend convinced me that I should take a body sculpting class. Now, I know enough about work-outs that calling it body sculpting is a way to lure people in. It embodies connections to Rembrandt, Picasso, and DaVinci. "This class will turn your body into a masterpiece" is what most people will hear in their head. What they don't realize is that shit is a marketing ploy. Body sculpting is the gym's way of letting all the instructors know that they have free reign for 60 minutes to contort others' bodies to do things that make the average person look like they're fucking a chicken. Well, being secure in who I am, I welcomed the chicken-fucking poses, and asked Col. Sanders for more. I went to my second body sculpting class tonight.
The class started out great. The instructor had a lot of energy but kept the exercises at a fairly low bounce. This is important for gals like me - anything over a C-cup, and that bouncing crapola hurts to no end. I'm grateful when there's no bounce. Halfway through the class, the instructor asked everyone to lay on their step benches because she was going to have the class work on core strength (i.e., trying to tone that flabby gut). About three crunches in, I felt a very sharp pain in my lower abdominal area. Holy Christ - what in the name of Jon Bon Jovi is that???? I tried to sit up and every muscle in my body basically screamed a resounding EFF OFF!! I could not move. Now, try to get a visual of this..... there are two girls next to me wearing their high school CHEER shirts. They probably weigh 85 pounds soaking wet..... combined. There's two guys in the corner one mat down from me. They are trying to keep their legs in the air like the instructor is doing without pinning their balls between their own ass cheeks and the step benches. There's a lady who I found out after class was 76 years old. She must be related to that guy who doesn't get old from the Lord of the Rings books. She was lifting weights and throwing out every exercise bit that the instructor gave us. And then there's me.... my middle-aged, extremely pale (dear God, I didn't notice it until my feet were in the air and the soft glow of florescent lights bounced off my legs - people left the class without sight), and somewhat chubby self stuck to my step bench as if God himself had stapled me there. When I was finally able to roll off my bench (think weeble-wobble), I was on my knees, head facing the gym floor, seeing stars. The instructor told me that it's either a muscle cramp or a muscle pull. I should ice it (fuck, are you kidding??? put an ice pack on my flabby stomach?? I wonder if she realizes that fat DOES NOT congeal??) and discontinue any abdominal isolation exercises for the next 24-48 hours so it can heal.
At this point, I got very tickled. The thought came to mind - hell, I acquired this ring o' shame around my middle from carrying rather large twins. Granted, it was 18 years ago, but that's beside the point. I found it funny that the instructor stressed to me not to strain myself, so it was very important for me to wait the 24-48 hours resting period. All I could think was - I've carried this shit for 18+ years.... another two days will not kill me!! I know - for a fact - that I did not look eager to get right back into my work out. I left feeling like my arms were made of Jell-o, and I was trying to figure out how I would be able to drive home with my feet since I couldn't raise my arms. No, please let me work out some more.....if I don't get one more workout in, I'll never be thin and beautiful (insert raised middle finger here).
So, I experienced the pain side of exercise tonight. I gained a good laugh.... but I don't think that's what they meant by "no pain, no gain." And to that, I'll leave you with my mantra for life: I came in this world, little and naked. I'm going out big and clothed!!!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Daily quip #1
So...... I have a friend that enters a daily blog. Just random thoughts that he puts out there for others to read. It's inspired me - just like his vodka/Fresca concoction (don't hate....it's delicious!!) - to put daily thoughts out there. I really want to start looking more for the humorous side of things. I think this blog may help me do that.
Now, without further adieu..... (drum roll please)........ here's my first official blog post!!! I suppose I could offer all this information about me: who I am, what I do, my likes and dislikes. But, in all honesty, if you ready this blog, you'll figure all that out anyway. So, here's my daily quip: root canal SUCKS! And I don't mean that little tube thing that the dentist and/or his assistant shoves in your mouth that tries to suck your uvula out. No, this is a major amount of suckage akin to illness or really banging the shit out of your toe (and I know that you are reliving that pain at just the thought of it).
I was out with friends yesterday getting some lunch & a few drinks. After enjoying a final tasty treat of a Cosmo with orange vodka and Grand Marnier (my friend, Kelly, ordered it..... sounded too good not to try!), Kelly and I sat around talking (i.e., sobering up enough to drive home). I popped a piece of gum in my mouth, and lo and behold, there was something abnormal in my chewing gum. This abnormality was actually the back half of one of my teeth. HOLY SHIT! Never had this happen. Needless to say, the first thing I did when I got home was grabbed a hand mirror and a flashlight. I needed to see the carnage that was now the remnants of my tooth.
The dentist was able to get me in early this morning. He thought it was incredible that I wasn't in any pain because the nerve was exposed. So, 2 1/2 hours later, my root canal was finished, a metal post was implanted, and I went from freakishly having no pain to having my mouth lit up like the 4th of July. Hence the reason I'm stating that root canal SUCKS! But, I doubt this was any big revelation for anyone.... yet, it might be words of wisdom for anyone out there that hasn't experienced it yet. If you have, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, find a dentist with a very gentle touch and no hair on his hands..... because he is going to have both of his hands shoved in your mouth for quite a while. And it is very difficult not to gag when you have all that going on - you certainly don't need a Grizzly Adams aiding in the gagging effort.
All this reminds me of an old joke:
A lady goes to the dentist. At the end of her exam, the dentist tells her that she's going to have to have a root canal. She squirms, and says, "oh no. I think I'd rather have a baby." The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind. I need to adjust the chair." :)
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